day 091

i know i sound irritated today.

i am not happy in this town. i am not sure if i ever was happy in this town. i feel no connection to where i live whatsoever.

it has now been a little over 3 years and i feel nearly as separated on as the time when i first landed here.

i have met some amazing people, i have made some drastic changes and i have learned how to drive in the snow.

but if i were to leave portland now, i don't think i would ever look back with any ownership of this town. i will not be spitting to others that i will meet later that have also lived or traveled to portland, that the east end "...was my hood!"

i am just not happy, and i can't really nail down as to why. i don't like the fact of not feeling settled even after three years of living in the same "here & now".