day 145

i am falling apart. i am 30 years old and i am already having trouble walking with my back straight and my knees pop when i squat down. this is not good. not good at all. i am too young for this shit.

i feel worse, meaning i have more aches and pains, now than i did when i was smoking a pack a day and thought a cardio workout was just walking to the 7-11 for more smokes. my weight lifting consisted of 4 rounds of 16 oz. curls every night. yeah,i was groggy in the morning, but my body functioned. or maybe my body didn't function like it should have, but i never put myself in a position where i saw it couldn't function.

i like this healthy living thing. the no smoking, less alcohol, running, biking weight training bullshit, etc. but what good is all of the work for if you can only hobble around with your back at a 45° angle.

this just fucking blows. last night, i think i garnered a total of 1 hours of sleep. what felt like every minute, i had to adjust my position because i was in too much pain.


i think i will be 35 walking with a cane. ¡no chinga bueno compadrés! (i honestly don't know if there is an accent mark above the "e" in compadrés, but it felt more authentic to have one).

yeah for the doctor at 2:30 today. hopefully some muscle relaxers and bed rest are in order. even though i have a weekend full of helping the lady friend move on saturday, and portraits on sunday. oh, and at least one portrait today. yippee!!!!!