day 091

i know i sound irritated today.

i am not happy in this town. i am not sure if i ever was happy in this town. i feel no connection to where i live whatsoever.

it has now been a little over 3 years and i feel nearly as separated on as the time when i first landed here.

i have met some amazing people, i have made some drastic changes and i have learned how to drive in the snow.

but if i were to leave portland now, i don't think i would ever look back with any ownership of this town. i will not be spitting to others that i will meet later that have also lived or traveled to portland, that the east end "...was my hood!"

i am just not happy, and i can't really nail down as to why. i don't like the fact of not feeling settled even after three years of living in the same "here & now".

day 090

i actually didn't do shit for creativity today. i had the thoughts, but nothing was sticking. i wanted to play, but nothing would formalize itself for there even to be a beginning. i was dry. nothing but a void.

all i did was exercise and eat. the only thing new is that the kitchen is a wreck. at least that gives me something to do on sunday.

day 089

i didn't do much of anything. i tracked down the maker of the take out boxes i like. $80 bucks gets me a stack of 50 or them. a bit more than needed, but i don't know if i will be able to find a cheaper way.

day 088

it be's x-mas bitches!!!!!

i poured out some PBR for my dead Hommie with the capital "H".

the day was pretty pleasant. had a decent breakfast of biscuits, eggs and turkey. darn tasty!

then i pretty much just sat around, took bertie for a walk and watched more hulu.com.

but i was creative this evening. i made my noodles and started playing with the idea i mentioned a post or so back about actually sending out a to-go box that would house a sample portfolio. i made my noodles and snapped a quick shot of them.

i think the shot is pretty cool, but could definitely use some garnishing. not sure exactly what i would have put in there. maybe some protein of some sort, like a shrimp or something. a red chili pepper, some sort of greenery. nothing too fancy, because it is supposed to represent what you would be taking home from the restaurant, which is generally just scraped off your plate before you leave. i did try the idea of using chili paste to write my name on the noodles. but, i think it gets too busy with all the squiggly lines of the noodles and the competing lines of my name.

anyway, i snapped that shot and started playing with cutting it out to fit the into the to-go box. the opening of the box measures 4.125"x4.875" and narrow down to 4.25"x3.5" at the base of the box. that causes two problems for me:

a) total height of the box is 2.75". that would mean a fuck-ton of sample images to fill the entire box. definitely not what i want to do. so to salve that problem, i will probably use a small piece of wood or something light and solid to fill in for the void between the last image and the bottom of the box. on it would rest business cards, with the last card permanently attached to the box.

b) the second problem is that because the sides of the box narrow, that means that the trim of my prints must compensate for the tapering box interior. i ain't's too smart at math and such and geometry and figurin's outs how to do that mathematically, so i just figured i would cut all the images to the same size, that size being the measurement slightly deeper into the box after the tapering had already begun.

a third problem with the box idea is that if the images are to fit flush to the sides of the box interior, then how is a person supposed to pull the images out to view them? i decided to weave hemp thread through the images so that when the box is opened, you only have to pull the thread and the images will pull out and come into view. they are threaded together in an accordion fashion so that when they are pulled out, they are view flush sided by side.

so, here is my prototype. the final image would be one of the box empty with only the sauce and a few noodles remaining. i didn't do that tonight, because i only have one tog-go box to play with and didn't want to soil it so early in the game. (i said soil)

anyway, now i need to work on some new images for it. i think they should be somewhat themed. either all shot from directly above, to fit the viewing of the to-go box, or maybe all the same sort of dishes. i don't know, something more to think about.

day 087

it's christmas eve bitches!!!!! yeah, a lazy day to be had by all. i had a few ideas for the day, but shoveling took over.

that and hulu.com i didn't do shiz-nit today. it was great! and i ate at least half a box of frosted flakes. simply amazing day.

day 086

i tried working on the lisa pics again today. i feel better now breaking it out to three pics instead of three images in one pic. i cropped them all as square as well. i was hoping this would bring the images together even though they would be framed separately. let me know what you think.

i also worked on a new image to hopefully print and frame for the kitchen. just something to be kind of fun in the space.

i was also thinking about new portfolio presentations. some time back i have thought about using to-go boxes as portfolio mailers. the client would open the to-go box and there would be an image of food sitting in the box. so it would look like you were looking at the left overs you had taken home. then from there it would be normal pieces. until the last image which would be of the bottom of the box but with remnants of food. as if you had just eaten your left overs. and on the bottom of the box would be my contact info. maybe i can play with that this holiday break. i was also thinking about a way to use twine to keep the images pieced together as well. so they folded out of the box in an accordion style and would never be lost from the box.

i should play with it tonight.

it is still early in the day, so i may be able to write some more this evening and possibly with some new test pics.

day 085

we got dumped on last night. it took nearly 2 hours to clear the driveway enough to get the car out. aside from the back breaking labor, it was a beautiful morning. i was shoveling long enough to see the sunrise over the bay.

i made it into work and had the studio to myself today. it was interesting not having any company in the room. there were aspects of it that were great. i didn't have to keep an eye on where and what people were doing. i didn't have to cater to anyone. i didn't have try and cram other work into the 5 minute slots when models are changing. i didn't have to do anything for anyone except myself.

now i just had to figure out what it was i wanted to do. i spruced up the space a little bit. putting away some boxes that had been sitting in the way for too long. did a double check of backed up files. cleaned out my inbox, although there is still some work to do there.

there is also still some work to be done with sprucing up the studio. but i have a total of 6 days to get that done before production begins again. i need to spread out the work. that was the nice thing about shooting AV and having people in the studio all day. the day flew by, there was always work to be done and it never felt like time was wounded in battle and crawling to safety. that was more me after some of the more strenuous days.

i tried to work on a creative spread today. one of lisa that started by just showing pants being put on, then a close up of the hand in pocket, then a close up of the arm all tatted up. then finally a full body shot. i was hoping that all the previous images would read androgynous. and by the final image you would come to realize it was a female. but i couldn't seem to make it work. i wanted all the images to be on one spread, but while i am writing this i think they would work better as separate images shown on the same wall. i think with the borders, it would prevent the viewer from jumping to the end and ruining what surprise there may be. it wasn't gelling for me earlier, but maybe i will give it another shot tomorrow sometime.

most of my day has been that way. i have somewhat been anticipating nicole being gone. although i miss her being with me, her warm body at night and kissing her forehead in the morning. i was somewhat looking forward to this time alone. i wanted my selfish me time. i was thinking that this would be the time that i would really stretch my wings creatively. i would put to film/paper/whatever everything that had been boiling up inside since i started working so many hours.

not the case. not that i don't have the drive. it is more that i don't have the concept, the idea, the creative. i am just dry. usually when i exercise i get a rush of creative energy; not the case tonight. i ran at the gym and did weights, but nothing sprouted in my head.

i did snag a photo of what nicole's b-day present was. this is not the final. what is left to be is A) framing it, and B) writing the corresponding reactions. i'll explain:

A - what i would like to do is find an antique surface that i could mount the images to. i would mount them in the same way they are mounted now, with six point creating the angles. instead of push-pins i would like to use rusty nails or something metallic and weathered. the concept would be the same, with the same piece of twine running the entire length of the frame like shown. i would also take off the "handle" to the clips. by "handles" i mean the pieces of the clip you actually squeeze to open it.

B - the original idea was to hand write the corresponding reaction nicole and i were trying to convey in each photo. then i thought it might be fun for her and i to write out our own reactions in the photos. so, i am waiting fro her to get back in town and we will fill them in together.

i am going to play and maybe put something together creatively. good night.