day 160

last thursday was another twilight dinner. i think i commented on it on a previous post. something about sharing an experience, yadda yadda. anyway, i am now going to share an image or two from the night.

as always, the food and people were great. i always feel so satiated (in more ways than just hunger) and gay when i leave those. albeit, this was only my second one to attend, so maybe that will change, but i doubt it. and i don't even drink that much while i am there, but i will be bringing another bottle of wine next time.

so here are a few shots from the night. enjoy

day 159

i stopped by the farmers market to snap some shots. i wasn't looking for hero images for my portfolio, i was more interested in getting filler images. shots i could maybe use as pairings to future food photography that might use some of the ingredients from the market. but, i think i did snag at least two potential hero shots. so not too shabby.

after walking through the market twice (pretty small market) i stood off to the side and just scanned the area. watching people and how they interacted, etc. i saw several other people with their cameras out, snapping away at the musical performers, the daisies in their pots, etc. i saw a stand set up with prints, 4x7's & 8x10's mostly, of flowers in different vibrant colors. each shot perfectly centered in frame and lacking any depth to the shot.

it was about then that i started to feel contrived. it started slowly, but quickly gained a destructive mental force. i think my leaving the market looked more like hysterical teen running from a masked killer in a slasher film. if i had been wearing mascara (like most days) it would have been a disaster.

anyway, here are a few shots from the day. hopefully they don't have the same contrived feel that crushed my inspiration that day.

day 158

i realized tonight what it is that i miss most about being in a relationship. although the physical intimacy is a wonderful and beautiful and beyond enticing aspect, i need the mental intimacy.

i went to another twilight dinner tonight. it was just as great as the last one. good weather, beautiful grounds, amazing food and best of all some amazing people. it was on the drive home that i figured out what i missed. i had this huge grin on my face from the people and the wine and the meal and all the goodness that i was just leaving. i wanted to share this grin with someone. i wanted to have a person to call that would just be as giddy listening to me gush, as i was giddy having been there. i wanted someone to be there with me, not saying a word, just sharing the same giddy grin.

i want someone to share experiences with.

it can be fun to try things out on your own, but it makes it so much better when you can share that joy, or any other emotion, with someone else.

oh....and i always love a lover's head resting on my chest.

day 157 - a.k.a. "fucking artists"

last thursday (07.16.09) i attended pecha kucha night at Space Gallery. i had two friends that were presenting that evening. i would list them, but i don't know if they want any association with my ramblings. instead i will say that they both did an amazing job, and i thoroughly enjoyed each one's presentation. both left me wanting more...like that first experience with pcp.

anyway, it was a rare night for me. i drank a lot...too much...too quickly...acted too stupidly...

for that, i apologize to those my drunkenness affected...they know who they are.

i don't know why the drinks were hitting me as hard as they were. i started with two white wines at my favorite Greek restaurant. chatted with the great people there then moved over to Space. there i killed off at least three dry meads in the span of 45 minutes. after the pecha kucha, it was off to pizza with friends...and another bottle of mead. the four of us split that bottle then split the restaurant. i was walking back to my car (yes, i thought i was still okay to drive), when i shiny object caught my eye. that shiny object was a bar on the opposite side of the street with a patio and beer-goggle-pretty-people (they were as attractive as i was sober). i went towards the light and found my savior in mojito form. the mojito was as strong as ... wait for it ... my belief in christ. it was flat sugar soda with a hint of mint and lime and no trace of alcohol. so, maybe it was like christ, in the sense it was there to save my liver for the last bout of the night.

so i make it back to my car, i hop in and turn the key. all the while i am on the phone trying to convince my friend i am fine to drive, and therefore hoping shit really does roll downhill and i convince myself. it works. car off and running, i hit 7-11 for a lottery ticket and a chocolate milk...and i think i also snagged a bag of peanut m&m's. perfect night cap. i break even on the lottery ticket, pound the chocolate milk, and make ready the m&m's for easy access for the remaining trek to bed.

in retrospect, i didn't really like myself that night. i did, and probably still need, to do some apologizing. i was a bit of a douche that night. not cool at all. below is what i started to post from my phone while at pecha kucha listening to one of the opening artists.

"I want to hear an artist simply say " I thought it was pretty" just
fucking once. It seems like nearly every artist I listen to seems to
think their work has more impact than it should

iSent this while driving"

there were two things about the artist that prompted me to shit out that nugget of insight: A) her use of zooming into/out of her images in a slide show presentation. it reminded me of a bad mac os screen saver rip off. B) her use of out-of-body-experience music during her presentation. seriously, don't take yourself that serious, because now, no one else will. and finally C) her resume read like the spoils of marrying rich. maybe there are things that i have forgotten since that night, and most definitely i should be humble and not cast such a strong judgement. but i am, in my current state of regurgitation, humble and i am only reflecting on my non-humbleness (a.k.a., douch-ē-ness). but that night, hearing about only spending two months of the year in maine, the rest in the middle east, being australian, working on her art full time, and showing at other pecha kuchas in the middle east; it all made me think she didn't have much to do but work on her art. which makes me think she married rich. which just makes me jealous when it is all said and done.

so that night, with that artist, i thought she took herself too seriously. her work was nice. i truly enjoyed it. but if you add the crutch of music and zooms, then you are only distracting from your work. so i was tipsy enough to start my post, then too drunk to finish. either way i thought i would share now.

so, since i am going to be critical of another artist, i guess i better call myself out as well. well, you fuck-tard, what have you been up to? got any big shows and some cool galleries lined up? new portfolio pieces? some bangin' new concept you can't wait to roll out on the masses?

well...no, but maybe a new portfolio piece or two.

so it has been some time since i last posted. there is a reason for that, it's called lack of motivation and creative mojo. i have been doing some shooting since then though. and actually done some pretty good stuff. i have a few new portfolio pieces from the Twilight Dinner at Turkey Hill Farm. i think i will even have the makings of a new chef portrait book with the additions of the Hugo's 1st & 2nd command.

on 06.25.09, Cultivating Community held their first Twilight Dinner of the season. the dinners are held at the Turkey Hill Farm in Cape Elizabeth every other thursday @ 6:00 pm. all food served at the dinner is harvest and sourced either from Turkey Hill Farm or another local farm within a specific radius. they host different local chefs that prepare their menus based on what is available that week. all proceeds go to Cultivating Community.

so i went camera in hand with an empty stomach. it was great. the food, the people, the setting, the wine, the livestock, basically the entire evening. it was really a great evening. i would encourage anyone and everyone to at least check out one dinner during the season if possible. links will be listed below.

i also took on some portraiture work of two local chefs. i mentioned in an earlier post about shooting for Gastronomica magazine. since knocking out those shots, Hugo's has hired a new sous chef and has requested a shot, in the same style as Rob's, of the new chef. that was knocked out last weekend.

other than that, i haven't done much else. i have a concept for a coffee-table book of neon signs, but i don't feel like sharing too much about it yet. i have been in a bit of a funk. my creative energy level has been down, my personal energy level has been down, my mental level has been down. i don't mean depressed, just not excited. i can't seem to find anything to get excited about.

i need a reset button. i was actually thinking about how portland needs a reset button. or maybe everyone who lives in portland needs a reset button. a reset in the sens that you can find your surroundings and encounters "new" again. we all know it is small here, in the "original" portland. so i think it would be amazing to have the memory span of a goldfish. that way my weekend walk with bertie could seem new to me every time. or, i could just quit bitching.

so maybe that is enough bitching for the moment.

links:
Cultivating Community

Twilight Dinner photos